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just say YES

I write a lot of blog posts, but I publish very few. There seems to be this constant narrative in my heart. It’s something I fight, probably daily. Finding the time to sit here and willingly tap away at these keys is hard for me. [Emphasis on willingly.] I’ve been blogging for a good six years, mostly just about my kids, and it’s never been something I’ve thought twice about. My tone is usually lighthearted and dipped ever so slightly in sarcasm. It fits. It’s easy. Our life is messy and funny and somehow still not at all interesting…so the sarcasm helps 🙂 But slowly, God has been doing something with this blog and with me. I’ve been opening up about my heart and my walk with the Lord. And THAT has not been easy. 

all things for good
A few years ago I felt a small nudge to take a chance and use these gifts I’ve been given. To write to encourage…to point people to Him. To be open and real about what God was really doing in this life and heart of mine. It was spotty…but here and there I ventured to share my faith on this blog. And then earlier this year when Derek got horribly sick, the flood gates opened so to say, and my heart spilled out. And the small voice I was hearing turned into a megaphone…and I could no longer keep my heart quiet and safe in the comfortable. You see, I have this icky part about me. People pleasing. It has something to do with wanting to be liked and pride. With people who know me – I have no problem sharing truth and challenging them and being true to who I really am. But in public, in work, on social media…I tend to be someone who doesn’t like to step on toes or offend…who will gladly hold my tongue about my faith to be liked, to be cool, to blend in. [ew]. But God used those hard times and desperate moments when Derek was sick to tear me wide open and change that about me…hopefully forever. And so here I am, trying to listen to this strange calling and write and share and be uncool. There is a story here, one that I know the Lord is asking me to tell. And no, it’s not earth shattering, not by any means. And I think, in part, that’s what makes this so hard. I realize that I’m not a writer or a preacher or that person who comes up with those lists…you know…like 10 things you need to do this year or 5 things you should never say to your kids. Those are great, but those are not me. My story unfolds daily. I’m not polished, and I don’t have intentions here for online greatness and fame and thousands of followers. I’m much more comfortable with the opposite. I’d rather be quiet, unwritten and unread. But God has other plans for this life of mine. This I know.

I’ve been reading Love Does by Bob Goff.  I bought two copies, then I got two more from some dear friends as gifts. I think it’s fair to say God wants me reading this book! I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe in a sovereign God, one who works in the every day, thru these things we’re more comfortable calling “coincidences” than God working. So when four copies of a book end up on my doorstep, I know it’s time to start reading it 🙂 

Bob’s stories…oh they’re good. Grab a copy if you can…or borrow one of mine…lol. Last night I finished the chapter JUST SAY YES. It’s definitely inspiring me to say yes to what God is asking me to do…”to lean in toward what is unfolding and say yes”. That’s probably one of the reasons I’ll take a chance and hit the publish button on this blog post today.

Am I the right guy? I don’t know, but I’m the guy being asked, and the last thing I want to do is miss an opportunity or make God mad, so I just keep saying yes. Maybe God is doing some inexplicable things in your life. Each of us gets to decide every time whether to lean in or step back–to say yes, ignore it, or tell God why He has the wrong person. {Bob Goff}

Bob was referencing Moses before this little morsel. How God chose Moses to lead, but Moses didn’t think he was the guy to do it because he’s clearly not the best talker, he stutters even…there are obviously better guys for the job. But are there? Are there better people for the tasks God is asking you or me to do? Hmmmm. That hits this girl hard.

So why not take a chance and step into some unfamiliar territory if God is leading you there. [I’m telling myself this as I write this to you…but please, feel free to join in]. That’s how we grow, right? Taking steps into the unknown and uncomfortable grows us and stretches us in the best ways.

This got me thinking about this year and where God has taken me. He’s always doing something in us…always. Have you ever considered this? A lot of people are making resolutions right now about the year ahead. I’m sure I’ll even throw a few around, it’s not too hard after reading this post to guess what mine will be. But before I get to that, I’m challenging myself to look back at this year and where I’ve been…jotting a few notes down about what’s been hard, what I’ve failed at, what God has taught me, how I’ve been blessed, how I’ve been humbled. Reflection. Sometimes we need a good dose of that before we go running ahead into new territory. So I’m opening books I’ve read and going thru the notes I’ve written and things I’ve highlighted to see what I’ve learned. Taking note of both the rich times and finding beauty and truth among the weedy spots.

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What if we all did this even in the most simplest of ways…trying our best to hold on and put into practice the things we’ve already learned. Instead of reading more books or diving into more theology and ladder climbing to “grow”…what if we just tried doing some of things we already know about. Like even the little things, which always seem to be the big things at the end of the day anyway. Like loving the messed up people in our lives. Or maybe extending some undeserved grace. Hmmmm. Things I already know about, but don’t always put into practice. All this reminds me of one of my favorites from this year…a quote from One Thousand Gifts…

I used to think that God’s gifts were on shelves one above the other, and that the taller we grew in Christian character the easier we should reach them. I find now that God’s gifts are on shelves one beneath the other, and that it is not a question of growing taller but of stooping lower, and that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts. {Ann Voskamp, 1000 Gifts}

See! This reflection thing is like magic. It’s been taking me to the best places.

Give it a try. In a way, it inspires me to live FULLY here and NOW…way more than any resolution would. Resolutions look ahead, they set goals. And they are a welcomed part of the New Year. But reflection…reflection looks back. It soaks in. It’s a way to wrap up the package of what was, take hold of it, and use it to make what lies ahead richer.

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christmas and a CAMERA!

My hubby surprised me with a new camera for Christmas! ME…and a CAMERA. Need I say more? I almost feel bad for it. It’s going to get wore out. Poor thing {ha}. So far I’ve started with the obvious subjects…my unsuspecting children. Needless to say, they allowed me only a few shots before putting their hands over their cute little faces and running in the other direction. Except for Rage. You’ll be seeing a lot of him. His little monkey paws haven’t figured out how to block Momma yet 🙂
 
 
Clearly this little guy is going to be my model of choice…
 
 
Because this one’s tooth “hurts” ?
 
 
And well…this one’s just NOT having it.
 
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SO I got busy practicing on my Christmas decorations. Talk about weird. I guess I didn’t really realize our lack of decor until I started photographing it. We lost a few things in the move. The back of the moving truck actually flew open during transit and some boxes took a tumble. {booo}.
 
But that’s okay. We’ve never had the money to really purchase anything fabulous anyway. I’m more about taking the odds and ends we have and just making them work. 
 
That’s more my style…just winging it. 
 
Take this deer head for instance. Clearly it’s high end, right? {ha} I think Derek was a little irritated that I fluffed up his “pride and joy” a bit with some ornaments. It’s called making it work my dear. And this WORKS!
 
 
Then there’s this cute little number. It’s a soup can that I glued twigs around and then stuck a small cutting from our tree in it. {fancy, right?} A little burlap and some gold acorns stems, and voila!
 
I’ve actually been collecting twigs and cans for a fun little decor project at church…and I have to admit that I’m using more of them around here than I am saving! Seriously. I just can’t help myself. I’m going to have to send the kids back out to the woods to gather some more. 
 
Another shot of my twig/can arrangement. Complete with dust bunnies and fingerprints — this is my real, undusted life! You’ll also see this green votive in a few pics. The kids move stuff around here on a daily basis…so there’s no telling what will end up where.
The grouping in the pedestal vase keeps growing as well. It started off full of all silver ornaments, but it’s been accumulating all the ones that fall off or get taken off the tree. It just keeps getting better and better, let me tell ya 🙂
 
RAGE!!!
 
 
Here’s a shot of some berry stems that I stuck in a jar {why not}. And of course, a can full of twigs. And a few more twigs in the vase in the background. See…it’s twig heaven around here. But seriously, go out to your yard and grab some. They’re cheap…they’ll fit in. Believe me!
 
 
There’s the green votive again 🙂
 
The kids picked out these little trees at the dollar store so I couldn’t say no. They like to contribute in the decorating process too 🙂 The tree stems are a little wonky, but I can’t win them all. Have you noticed all my stacks of books? It’s sort of my latest obsession. Removing all the annoying dust covers and stacking up some beautimus book ends. {love}.
 
 
And here you go. One of my FAVORITES. Who doesn’t decorate their tree with Hello Kitty sunglasses? Kids. They keep life interesting and full of the quirky best surprises.
 
 
Nothing like some garland to adorn our deer rack. The two together just scream MAN HERO. These next few photos have a story…


 
I even stashed a few pieces into the top of our kitchen blinds. It’s clearly not my best work, but it does make me chuckle. And it smells great 🙂 
 
I finally hung my burlap wreath I made last year. Every little bit helps.


 
And this is something that’s a work in progress. For the moment, this old frame is being used as photo collage for our Christmas cards (or mostly Christmas cards)…Rage’s birth announcement found it’s way up there too. Eventually it will be home to one of our family pictures from this year. 
 
 

Here is what is looked like before. And no I didn’t scrap the artwork. This is totally my Dad, so it’s now adorning his walls.

 

Here’s our Santa Bell. Probably the one thing we have with meaning around here. It’s a Gora tradition for the man of the house to ring this bell on Christmas morning. When the kiddies hear the bell, they can race out of their rooms to see what’s under the tree. I think Derek’s dad was still ringing this bell up until the day he passed it down to him. I remember that morning. It was a little teary. I guess it’s sort of a rite of passage, this passing down of the Santa Bell. Years from now we’ll have another one of those teary Christmas mornings when our last little one leaves the home. I guess Rigby will be the one to carry the torch.
 
Tradition. Don’t you just love it? I do 🙂
 
 
And here’s our tree. The star actually touches the ceiling! It’s full of ornaments from our childhood and ones made by our kids and old cheesie beads and one string of burlap because I couldn’t find the rest. But it sparkles and smells good and gets the job done. 
 
I guess my point is…embrace what you have. LOVE what you HAVE. Christmas isn’t about having a perfectly decorated house or all the best things. So don’t sweat it. The whole point is Jesus, right? He was perfection for us! What a relief! I’m doing my best to hold on to this truth, especially as I look around at all my Christmas decor [or lack thereof]. 

Now go gather yourself some twigs! 
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R.I.P. Cole

We’re having one of those days today. The kind that just makes you want to …

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camo

Derek brought home a puppy a month or so ago. Yes…A PUPPY. I joke with him that he must have thought my life was getting too easy again. I survived him almost dying and months of unknowns pertaining to his health…and then there’s this puppy. [sigh…] I would have to say she ranks up there among the things I’ve had to persevere thru this year. To say the least, she’s a LOT of work. On a normal day she enjoys eating mice and moles, jumping, biting, scratching, peeing on the porch and knocking down little people. She’s a TERROR. We named her Camo, for camoflauge. I have to admit she does have the cutest perky ears and looks like a little seal. But I’m still trying to figure out why we thought this was a good idea. ? Not too long ago she ate rat poison we had hidden in the barn. She found it and gobbled it up in the blink of an eye. Yep. She should have died. But what we did we do? Rushed her to the vet…SHE LIVES.

There’s one thing she does that I actually like. She plays soccer.

 [cincopa AYHAeOtPyfSq]
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