another wave in this storm

I wanted to give you all an update on Derek’s health (I know, it’s been awhile). We’ve been getting back into the routine of life…bathing kids, changing diapers, attempting to sometimes do a load of laundry or go to the store…you know, all the glamorous stuff. It’s been a slow road though, and at times our patience has run pretty thin. It’s been hard since we’re both on the mend now; me from my c-section and Derek from his plethora of medical mayhem. The last 3 months has just taken it’s toll on us. It’s crazy how we took for granted all the little things we used to do every day. It was all so much easier before. We’re putting the pieces back together though, day by day really. We’ve actually had a lot (and I mean A LOT) of help from so many people…friends, our siblings, our church, our dads, and especially our moms. I wish we could do something to show how much we appreciate and love you all. It’s so hard to be on the receiving end of all this. I’m not sure if it’s guilt or pride or both…but it’s hard to digest. It’s definitely been humbling…that’s for sure.

Most of you probably already know, but we welcomed a little baby boy into our family on April 3rd. He’s so beautiful…and so so sweet. I’m so glad that God gave us this child in THIS moment of life. It’s brought love and life and tenderness into the middle of all this, really keeping us from being able to focus too much on our own woes. Like I said before, God really does know what He’s doing.

We named the little guy Rage Michael Gora, which I think might have surprised a few people. Who names their kid RAGE?  Um, well, crazy people do I guess…and that’s totally US. In our eyes though, life has been raging against us…this storm…this illness…all of it. I think at times it’s felt to us like we’re barely able to keep our heads above water, like we’re treading water in the middle of the raging sea. So I guess we decided we’re taking a piece of this mess with us…Rage…so we’ll never forget where we’ve been or how we got thru it.  My brother actually sent me this verse after we had named him asking if this is where we got it from…Luke 8:24…it’s when Jesus is asleep in the boat and his disciples are scared… “The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Master, Master, we’re going to drown!’ He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm.” I love it…it’s so true…God spoke and the raging storm subsided.  Sounds familiar…that’s OUR God. !

We’re also on the brink of another big moment…on next Wednesday May 7 Derek is going to be having open heart surgery. We found out a few weeks after we left the hospital that Derek has a congenital heart defect that’s gone un-diagnosed all these years, and is most likely the culprit in this whole debacle. After the dust settled from the first hospital stay…and by “dust” I mean respiratory failure, kidney failure, liver complications, internal bleeding, high fevers, pleural effusions, pericardial effusions, multiple blood transfusions, kidney dialysis, double pneumonia… After all THAT settled and we were back home, he started having pain and fevers again which landed him back in the hospital.  That’s when they found pericarditis, endocarditis, an aneurysm and his heart defect.  Put all of that together and what do you get??? A GINORMOUS medical bill and open heart surgery…{sigh}

In all seriousness though, we’ve been a little teary and unsure this last week or so gearing up for this surgery. We’re both more than nervous about this procedure and all that it entails.  It’s something that gets done a lot, people bounce back from it just fine…but that doesn’t make it any easier for US.  It’s coming at the end of a long road and to be honest, neither of us really want him to have it done. But it’s necessary for him to live…and well, we can’t argue with that.

It’s another wave in this storm…and we’re really looking forward to being on the other side of all of this soon. One of my good friends sent me this song early on when Derek was still very sick… “Oceans”.  It’s been our heart-song as we prepare for this surgery.

Sing it and pray it with us…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBJJJkiRukY