light in the wilderness

The Lord bless you. And keep you. Make His face shine upon you and be gracious you. The Lord turn his face toward you, and give you peace.

(lyrics from The Blessing by Cody Carnes & Kari Jobe … go listen, it’s so good, link below)

This song. It’s a blessing. It’s a prayer. And I’m singing it for this world. As I sit here in my chair in the late hours of the night, I find myself smiling at the blanketed kids who made their way down the stairs on a Sunday night. There’s freedom here in these walls now. We’ve thrown a lot out the window because all of the sudden, life is different. What mattered yesterday, isn’t at the top of the list today. It’s frightening and it’s hard, but it’s beautiful too.

So here I sit. Doing battle with all the thoughts swirling in this head and heart of mine. I’ve read your posts. Watched some of the same clips on social media as a lot of you. And I see us, still bickering a bit, but all of the sudden united like never before, with a common goal. Our world is sick. This spinning planet full of hopes and hurts and all sorts of busy has retreated. The highways we’ve paved are empty. The walls that have separated us into nations and peoples and languages, even those that exist between us as neighbors, have crumbled. And it’s like we’re all seeing each other for the first time. It’s humanity, banded together. We’re reaching across the patio rails that separate us, and we’re singing a new song. Here we all are, the people of the entire world, with our fingertips pressed against the windows of our right now, realizing maybe we’re not so different after all. And maybe life’s not all about what we’ve made it to be. Maybe beauty and the best parts of life aren’t wrapped up in the nice and tidy packages we work so hard for.

I’m not minimizing the struggle we’re facing. There are people who are sick and dying. People who have to suffer painfully, all alone in hospital beds because of the quarantine. It’s hard to even wrap your mind around until you’ve had a taste of it and experienced it first hand. Dear friends of mine have. And most of us aren’t working. We don’t have income to pay our bills. The whole world is hurting. And still, I’ve seen snippets of something beautiful here. It stirs up my faith, and I have words that need writing on this Monday morning.

I was taken back to something I wrote a few years ago as I had my late night worship sesh last night. It was at a time when I was swimming in science and creation and somehow John the Baptist. I was searching out scripture, blogs, books, sermons — and God was teaching me something about the desert places. Showing me there’s a string of beauty that we can only see in the small, dry places. The ones that feel awfully similar to where we are right now. So although it was written awhile back, God is asking me to share it today. Try to stick with it to the end. It might seem unrelated, but I promise hope shines thru at the end.

***

Oh we dream big, don’t we? We want MORE. But in reality, we are so small. So very small. We seek out the big things, thinking they will fill us and comfort us, content us. But they never have, and they never will. We were made for something else. Someone else. And as we sit here, stripped down, laid nearly bare, I believe we have an opportunity to lean into the quiet, small places and seek the face of God. Hope is always twinkling on the edge of all our fears. And sometimes it takes a desert for us to realize our need.

God is HERE. And whether you realize it or not, all of mankind is His. And He wants nothing more than for us to turn to Him so He can gather us in His arms like it says in Isaiah 40.

He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

…

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men shall stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:11,28-31)

I was reminded in Isaiah 40 of the voice of one calling in the desert… to prepare the way for the Lord. And oddly enough, we read that a highway for our God was made in the wilderness. The desert place. God is always doing something with the deserts in our life.

So I started looking closely at the desert. And deserts are BARREN. Empty. It’s a tricky and severe environment; one nobody really wants to stay in. It’s dry — bone aching dry. The temperatures can go from one extreme to the next. It’s a windy, thirsty, LONELY place. But it’s also where John the Baptist was called to. ? And not for just a season either. It was his home. He grew up there. He could of easily chosen to be in the towns, living a better life. The normal, good life. Sort of like the ones we had a few weeks ago. Before the viral storm rolled across the globe and left us wanting.

John the Baptist could have lived among the religious leaders, spent his days at the priestly synagogue. He could have really been “something”. His father Zechariah was even a priest. One who experienced a miracle, having had an angel speak to him. I’m sure John grew up hearing those stories from his parents. What a joy he must have been to them. Their only child; the precious dreamed of gift from God they had always wanted. And guess where they took him?

The DESERT. (… Ah-hem. What?)

There were so many opportunities for pride and self seeking glory for this family. They had been given a miracle baby, one who would be cousin to Jesus himself. His mother even felt the Holy Spirit FILL her womb. Can you imagine getting to tell THAT story? And we read that her sweet child was filled with the the Holy Spirit of God from birth. (and all the mothers of toddlers gasp…) And of course, there’s John himself who was prophesied about in the Old Testament. Yep. PROPHESIED about. Can you imagine living knowing you had been prophesied about? Or even knowing someone who was prophesied about and long awaited according to scripture? Sounds like he should have been in a castle, not a desert. But God’s ways are not ours. Clearly.

A voice of one calling: ‘In the desert prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God.’ (Isaiah 40:3)

I’m trying to picture myself near to them. Growing up within ear shot of the boy who angels and scripture spoke of. Just a regular person who for some reason, God would use. I’m sure it was hard to make sense of for the people during that time. Hard to believe. It required eyes of faith to take hold of those kinds of words and truths and allow them space to be real. Maybe people like John with strange callings belong in the wide open spaces of the desert. I’m starting to wonder if maybe we do, too.

The irony for me is that this family could have totally claimed glory and fame for themselves, at least in a worldly sense. Oh the selfies they could have taken. Wouldn’t everyone want to know them? They could have reveled in it. Moved into the city and been the favorites at all the parties. But they didn’t choose that, did they? They chose the desert. They chose to be weird and to raise their kid even weirder. John wasn’t being raised conventionally. He lived in the desert. He lived and looked a fool — but he knew WHO he was. WHOSE he was. And more importantly, WHO HIS GOD WAS. Maybe it takes a little bit of the awkward and uncomfortable to really be able to take hold of that. And it’s fair to say John chose the desert too. That part gets me. He didn’t run. He chose different over popular. He chose to live a little harder, to follow his calling, to live the life of a WITNESS.

There’s so many things buried into the story of John. So many applications. But what I’m seeing this morning is the desert. God called John into the wilderness because He wanted to use him. And John? He needed the desert too. He need to be prepared for his ministry. He needed to see the world differently and live in a way where God was at the forefront of his life. It was there and only there that God could prepare him for what was ahead. That doesn’t sound too much different than what we’re called to, does it?

I’ve read the story of John before and never seen the grit. I’ve read the words about him eating locusts and wild honey and wearing weird camel’s hair clothes. I knew he was different. But I didn’t see the struggle. I didn’t consider the desert. He was called by God and that alone sounds big and like something. But that was all that I saw. I didn’t see the smallness of his work or his days.

I think sometimes we read the bible like an instagram feed. We see the beautiful. It sounds and looks like something we all want. But the beauty that lasts, the one that actually means something, isn’t found in the most beautiful picture or end game. It’s hidden between the frames. In the cracks of life when we are on our knees with our faces in the sand.

To be called and used and find the forever beauty we long for comes at a price, as following Jesus always should. We want the pretty picture, but we have to set aside our pride to find the good stuff. We have to stop worrying about how we look, if we’re liked, and stop trying to jump from mountaintop to mountaintop. We have to take up our cross and die to ourselves, and allow ourselves to spend some time in the valleys. That’s where beauty is made. But when we enter the hard arid places of life, WE WANT OUT. It’s not comfortable, and it’s not pretty — so God must not mean for us to be there. Right?

Being called to follow God is almost always going to include a trip to the desert, and we should be thankful it does. For some of us, a good portion of our lives are spent there… (ummm, wait…what…) Now don’t freak out and run. We have the stories of John and the Israelites and many others to show us the beauty of the wilderness. Just hang with me a minute…

Now it may not include lying in the sun with lemonade — sorry. It didn’t for John, and it really shouldn’t for us either. It’s a DESERT remember?

So as I picture John there, I’m starting to see myself there too. My guess is that John was a bit lonely and I can relate to that. I have friends and a sweet husband but sometimes as I draw closer to God, I feel further from everyone else. Alone really. So a bit lonely like John, but maybe just lonely enough to look harder and run harder after God. And I bet John knew what it was like to feel worn down, soul thirsty and all a mess; like he didn’t fit in ANYWHERE. That sounds familiar and like a lot of things we try to avoid, doesn’t it? But God took him there — to the sometimes harsh and quiet place so that He could do a deep work in him. And John stayed there in the midst of it.

This is what Jesus has to say about him:

I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist… (Matthew 11:11)

And if you consider what John had done at this point, it doesn’t seem big and glorious. Not really. But to God, HE WAS. He lived a strange yet dedicated life in the desert and called for people to repent. He spoke boldly and called out sin. And he did it because apparently that is what makes the way for the Lord to work. He didn’t need a stage or great clothes or an ear tickling message. He said hard things, lived a hard life with very little, and gave witness to the Lord. He lived a beautifully simple life.

And here we are, at least most of us, and we’ve been living pretty good lives. But one taste of the desert places of life and we want out. We want to get back to the time we felt in control, put together, strong, and were able to do more and accomplish more in what looks like His name. We want it to look pretty, and we want to get there fast.

But the things we have to learn in the desert take time. So let’s allow ourselves to sit in it a bit. It is hard being there, but God is DOING something in the desert. He takes advantage of the wilderness that Satan thinks will be the end of us. God knows where the wells of water are, and He will lead you and fill you and provide for you. Take heart. You can do this. You have the WORD. You have the SPIRIT. You are not alone, even if you feel like it. Just keep your face bent to His. If you haven’t noticed, the sun shines blinding bright in the desert because GOD IS THERE my friends. You may want to hide in the shadows and sleep thru the heat. I get it. It’s not easy. But don’t rush out of there. God can use every bit of what seems like a desert for your good. So sink into His presence. Seek His loving face. He will not leave you wanting.

The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert teetering back and forth between faith and failure. They followed God; they saw miracles. Many of whom lived and died in that very wilderness. That’s hard to wrap our minds around. It almost looks like their life was a waste, doesn’t it?

You mean they didn’t end up on the mountaintop? Some never made it to the promised land, made it BIG, or got the bigger house?

They struggled and some even died still living in the wilderness, and that sounds pretty horrible. But we’ve overlooked the beauty again. We think it’s only found on the mountaintop. But God is in the business of turning dried up streams into living water. All we have to do is look to Him in this right now desert. He has something for each of us here.

Just look at any famous, wealthy person. Are they completely fulfilled? I think you’ll find that money and fame and the mountaintop are not enough. We will always want more. The MORE we seek can only be found in the wilderness. In the upside down gospel, where Jesus is. Life might look like we’re just wandering from watering hole to watering hole out here. But we’re forgetting about the LIVING WATER. God has it covered. Water flows down the mountain to the valleys. That’s were the streams and pools are my friends. In the valley. The mountaintop sounds awesome, but there’s not much for us there.

So what is to be gained in the wilderness and desert?

A beautiful war-torn faith is what. We just have to look between the lines. We look back at stories like the Israelites (or at least I do) and I see a bunch of idiots. (yikes!) But seriously… People following magnificent clouds of God and eating bread falling from the sky, and they still screwed it up and missed God. But what we don’t see is the beauty of the repentance experienced in their souls. The beauty of failing and turning and seeing God waiting there for you. Still wanting to lead and love you through it. That’s something. That’s a life well lived. What if they would have sailed right through the desert, landed in the promise land and had all the water and food and goodness this world has to offer? That’s what so many rationalize about God. If He was a good God, he’d take us straight there. But is that really LIVING? I don’t think so. That’s not where we learn and grow. It’s the time we actually learn to appreciate God and the good things.

It’s the valleys where we see and experience the most of God. That’s where we’re ushered in to the truest, most beautiful good. It’s where God weaves a beautiful tapestry of the darkest and the brightest colors together. That’s what creates the most striking contrast. When we FEEL it most. When the colors of the good become even more beautiful and the ugly hard it’s own sort of precious masterpiece.

As I’m reading, I’m finding that John, the Israelites, even Jesus himself spent time in the desert before God used them. So if you’re feeling like you’re in a desert of sorts, look at those stories. Look at those people, and see how God showed up for them. You are no different. Take some time to dig into that bible of yours and let God speak hope over you. You are precious and loved and created for His glory too.

And the DESERT. Don’t forget what a necessary beautiful place it is. It’s where blessings are given. Where the patriarchs reached out in their own times of struggle and gave blessings to their children’s children, just like the song I’m singing says. We all want that blessing don’t we? But the song and the words and all the John the Baptist sermons crossing my lap are telling me fancy and big and the mountaintop are not where the blessing is. We can sit in our small living rooms and walk a bit thru the empty deserts and do small things and struggle, and it’s okay. It’s more than okay. All we have to do is look at the space between our two feet (like Jill Briscoe says) and do whatever it is He has called us to do, RIGHT WHERE HE HAS US. Desert and all. I know there’s a lot on the horizon that’s going to be hard. But we have a God who has measured the waters of the earth in the hollow of His hand. He’s got this. He’s got us.

So let’s look for the light in the desert places, the ones we feel small and a little lost in. We have to remember that Jesus is with us. And when we are weak and bone-weary and ready to flee the wilderness, let’s not forget God is making room in our souls for what’s next. He’s there blowing the dust around and working in our souls and making beauty. He uses the empty space for our good, blowing the bits of our lives around just enough to make our rough edges smooth and refine us. Ready us. It will be beautiful. We know this because of Romans 8. We know this because of Ecclesiastes 3:11 …♥