I have a little time alone tonight so I thought I’d share a little bit about what’s going on with us. We’re hanging in there…we keep on keeping on if that makes any sense. We might be dangling at times this week, but overall on the upswing. These past few weeks Derek’s been slowly healing and gaining strength, which has been a delight to watch. It seems like every few days I see a little more of the old Derek…that sarcastic beefcake that always keeps me on my toes…oh how I love this guy. We ran into a few road bumps at the end of last week though, and he is back in the hospital at the moment. He’s okay…not having overnight multiple organ failure or anything like before (thank the Lord). But some of those underlying issues that could have possibly caused all of this to begin with are rearing their gnarly little heads again. The doctors are all over him though, which is good and bad (poor Derek…he’s pretty sick of being drilled about his medical history by teams of doctors). We’re pretty sure he’ll be able to come home in a day or two though – which we are both REALLY looking forward to. One thing we’ve found out is that Derek will be having heart surgery in the coming months…so he still has another hospital stay in the near future. Please be praying for his overall health to continue to improve. We need him strong for this. These new developments have been a little hard to swallow, but we are still trusting God and His plans for our family.
One of the things that God has been teaching me is to WORSHIP Him, even in the middle of this mess. To be able to stand in a situation that I don’t necessarily like or want and to do nothing and offer nothing but worship to God…that is truly a life changer for this girl. Worship is not something I’m good at even on Sunday mornings…I sing and I love the words, but I can’t say that this heart truly worships this God of ours in those moments. He is working on me though…in ALL of this….and giving me a desire to praise Him. To set aside what I want in life…the dreams we have…the things we think we need…all of it. To push it all to the side for a moment and just stand in praise to a worthy God and surrender. It’s an awesome and humbling experience.
A friend shared this song with me a week or so ago…“Though You Slay Me” by Shane and Shane. I’ve been listening to this every day, my heart singing the lyrics to God in worship. There’s an excerpt from John Piper at the end as well that touches on the verse in 2Cor4:17…the one about our light and momentary troubles achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all…oh Amen. I worship God because HE IS GOD and THAT alone is enough really…but I’m also so thankful that He gives us more in these moments…that there is purpose in this struggle!